MUSICIAN JOKESHear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car? Took two hours to get the drummer out! What's the difference between a musician and a U.S. Savings Bond? One eventually matures and earns money! How do you get a guitar player to turn down? Put a chart in front of him! What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend? Homeless! What do you throw a drowning guitar player? His Amp! What's the difference between musicians and a young puppy? Give the puppy a couple of months, and he'll quit whining! What's black and brown and looks good on a guitar player? A Doberman! How can you tell if the stage is level? Drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth! What did the Bass player say on his first job? "Would you like some fries with that Coke?" Why are Orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes? So you don't have to retrain the drummer. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer! How do you know when a drummer knocks on your door? The beat slows down! Why do bands have bass players? To translate for the drummer! What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine. With the machine, you only have to punch in the information once! A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decided to change instruments. After some thought, he decided on the accordion. He went to the music store and said to the owner, "I'd like to see your accordions, please." The store owner said, "All of our accordions are over there in the corner. "After browsing for a while, the drummer says, "I'd like the big red one in the corner." The shop owner says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?" Crestfallen, the drummer says, "Yeah, how did you know?" The store owner says, "that's the radiator!"
How can you tell when a singer's at your door? You open the door, and he still doesn't know when to come in! And from my friend, musician Graham Woodhouse, The Lord and Noah
|